Ughhhh homesick

I usually don't blog on the spot, but now I feel like I will because what I'm feeling is intense. I am HOMESICK. Like, bad.

It's the double-edged sword of having technology here in the middle of Africa. It's great because you can see what everyone is doing, see pictures, videos, updates, etc, but it's a tease also. I looked at old pictures, and I caught up on some local news in Kansas politics.

I saw that my Congressman is still accepting big corporate Koch brothers money, and defending their interests in Congress...I saw that the political candidate I used to work for was giving a speech on constitutional issues...I saw old pictures of KU basketball games with students flooding the stands with the Kansan basketball posters...I looked at old pictures of my besties when we were at KU...and I watched a choppy video of my niece walking around my sister's house making the cutest baby noises...AND her hair is turning brown!

I have to remember stuff like why we took this photo - Huit Mars - aka International Women's Day - the day in which we celebrated a move toward women's empowerment. We talked our host brothers into helping us cook dinner. That's what this picture is - eating the woso fries and fried plantains we made for huit Mars.

I miss these things so much, and I miss physical contact, such as hugging. I miss making fun of my best friend and telling her she's crazy. I miss my guy friends. I miss my groups of friends. I miss skyping with my family and seeing their faces. I miss KU basketball and Lawrence.

I have to remember this too - this is an activity we did during training in which the trainees wrote down the top values of Americans and Malians and our homologues wrote their top values as Malians. I loved this activity because it showed how we may have differences, but, in reality, we all want the same thing. And it's about understanding each other, expanding.

Just like every time I have homesickness, it will change. It will go away. I know the feeling is not permanent. I know that I have a lot of support back at home. But most of all, I know that when I endure, and I rock out my work here, all the moments of homesickness, all the bad food, all the dirt in my nose, it will all be worth it.It's about something bigger, something that I can't see now, but I will know when I see it.

This feeling is totally normal. We're all probably going through it in one way or another. Peace Corps does a great job of informing us on culture shock, coping mechanisms and support structures. For me, it's been music, jogging, alone time, reading, journaling and spending time with my host family that gets me through the tough patches of time.

This experience has already totally changed me, and has definitely changed the course my life will take after I complete my service. I've talked a lot about literacy, women's empowerment, education, as themes that keep popping up and are fields I want to pursue after my service.

Huit Mars -we were special guests to the local school. Here we are at the school, with all the women in their beautiful huit Mars outfits. 

When I feel sad or homesick, or frustrated, I always remember some great advice: This is about something bigger. This is about something bigger than all the sadness, homesickness and frustration I will ever feel in only two years. It's about peace and friendship. It's about new perspectives. It's about learning and growing. It's about being there, being present. It's bigger than whatever I feel that seems hard.

Anyway, tomorrow morning we go back to homestay for a little less than two weeks. After homestay we come back to Tubaniso for a week and then it's SWEAR IN! Swear in is the official event in which we are sworn in as formal Peace Corps volunteers, upon completing Pre-service training. After swear in, we go to site and start in service training (IST). IST is a three month period in which we cannot start any projects, but get to know our community.

In two weeks!

Ramata Coulibali aka Laura Vest