I really have to move??!

Ok, first, you should know there was a TARANTULA here at Tubaniso today. Running rampant on its own! It's as big as a hand, someone took pictures!

In addition, I found out there are scorpions that resemble walking cell phones because they're so big! Mali, why are you doing this to me!!??

Actually, turns out I might be moving to the region in Mali that is named the "Hottest place" in the...entire...WORLD...Kaye region.

And my friend who lives close to where my new site might be, said he has to SPEAR the scorpions when he kills them! They're the big, black ones that look like walking cellphone-crab creatures. This is NOT good!

And today, someone else was talking about using a machete to kill a snake! Mali!!! Bad!

Anyway, I wanted to post on some significant news I received lately. My supervisor decided to move me out of my site to a completely new site.

As I will not go into the exact details for the site change, I will say that I trust his decision and now that I know the details, I think this is definitely for the better.

As you have seen in my former posts...I formed....a new family here. A family and a community that I fell in love with. Who would do anything for me, who told me, at least once a week that they loved me. And now, I am moving to a different part of Mali, across the country...and couldn't even say goodbye. (For safety and security and cross cultural reasons, Malian staff inform of news like a site change, without the volunteer)

I told my two host sisters with whom I was closest that I would not...be coming back. They came into my house as I was packing my stuff. I had two areas of stuff. One pile of stuff was stuff I gave to them...clothes, the pictures they asked for for when I left (then, thinking it would be in two years), food, etc...and the rest of my stuff I could pack.

I told my 16-year-old and 11-year-old sisters. Tears were falling down my face as I told them in hiccup-like Bambara that I would not be coming back. True to Malian nature, they didn't say much. They just looked at me for a while. Half disbelief, half trying to figure out why I was leaving for good...so...early.

And then my 11-year-old host sister, who would walk to the radio station with me and hang out under my hangar and ask me questions about life in America...she started crying.

And then my 16-year-old host sister buried her face in her hands and cried softly. And I was crying. We were all just sitting on my concrete floor, sweating...and crying together.

They were the only ones who knew I was leaving for good. My supervisor is going to inform my family soon enough. When I said goodbye, all I could say was I would see them soon. I intend on keeping that promise.

On the Peace Corps ride to my stage house, I cried, with big sunglasses on, all the way to my post office town. I thought about the mentorships that would have been...the idea for a girls' empowerment group...my English club...the teachers I drank tea with every night...the little kids who had gotten used to me being there and were actually calling me by my name...rather than "Toubab," and I thought about the motherly and kind way my host mom had taken me aside and told me I would not be going around by myself because we were in this together and it is their job to help me be successful...but that is the decision, and it's done.

As the days passed and I've had time to contemplate my site change, I know that this is the best decision.

But...such is Mali. This is Peace Corps. You never know what you're going to get, and you start to learn that a positive attitude is your best friend. Rolling with the punches is a survival strategy here.

Here's how I look at my site change:
-->Much better it happened now than a year into my service. I can't imagine leaving my community after becoming attached for a year. I was only two months into it, and while I learned to love my host family and community, two months versus a year or so, is much easier to cope with.
-->I have already been through the two-three month integration period once (what I just completed at site)...and when I go to do it again, it's going to be that much better. My language is so much better, I know what to do and not do. And I have another two-three months to do it again and correct the things I did/didn't do the first time.
-->It's sad that I'm leaving a family behind in Mali, but my community wasn't ready for a volunteer. I will be going somewhere that's a lot more aware and receptive to the type of unique work Peace Corps does. And I will have three families in Mali, instead of two. The more the merrier!
-->It's also exciting to get to know another region, job, and style of life in Mali. I'll be going to a completely new region, with a new job assignment, a new house and set up, a new family dynamic, a new town size...everything is going to be different. And I will be stationed next to different volunteers...so new American friends too. It really is nothing but positive.

I really try to keep a positive attitude here. I am wise enough to know that attitude is everything and in something like the Peace Corps, where things are so flexible and change so rapidly...my attitude completely shapes my experience...and I want to have a positive experience and positively affect my community members' lives...and nothing, I mean nothing...will destroy that faster than a shitty attitude. But, it's something I have to work at every day. Every thought, every word, spoken or not.

So...I'll let everyone know when I find out more about my new site. From the information I'm getting, it sounds like it's going to be a drastically different experience, very unlike my set up at my old site. But, who knows. I'll find out this week.

Thanks for all your support!!! It means a lot!