I have decided that I am 35 years old.
I'll get into the details of my soon-coming mid-life later, but first, I want to do a very short update on Thanksgiving.
So, thanksgiving was awesome! I traveled to Sikasso region, which is southern Mali, where about 90 volunteers gathered to celebrate Thanksgiving together with a huge feast and some going out.
The food was delicious, the organizers in Sikasso did an awesome job, and it was a good time. Christmas is coming up and we are thinking of going to the river town to celebrate.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my Peace Corps life. I mean that as in my service representing a mini-life. It's true. Giving up everything you ever had, everyone you ever knew and everything you ever knew to start completely over in an extremely foreign place...it represents the beginning of a new life.
The infant years
And when that life starts, from Pre Service Training through the first two months at site, you are in your infant years. You literally can't speak. Everyone is doing things for you, you have no independence, no perspective, you don't know anything. You can't have long conversations, you can't eat, you have no friends yet. You don't know anyone and you're just trying to figure out the basics. How do you adjust to the water? To the new climate? People who are totally new to you? How can you make sense of a way of life you don't understand at all? These are the infant and toddler years.
The school years
And then they drop you off for the first two to three months at site, called integration. Integration is kind of like your first years in school. You are starting to make friends and get to know some people. You are learning to communicate - learning the grammar rules and ways of speaking the language. You are learning what your favorite foods are and where things are situated in your city/town/village. But things are so up and down, you're crying all the time, throwing fits, not knowing how to handle what is going on around you (ahhahhahha, oh, the roller coaster).
The college years
Then you graduate to your college years - or IST. All you want tot do is hang out with friends and go out, because you're finally independent for once. (IST is our In Service Training, after being at site for the first two to three months, and it's two weeks long). You've been studying your entire "life" and now you are finally a on your own, free from the quicksand of dependence on everyone else. All you want to do is be a little crazy, get some studying done, but get it out of your system before you are pushed into the real world. But as soon as IST/college is finished, you are really on your own. You have to go and find a "job" and be a grown up. You've developed philosophies on life there. You have your coping patterns in place. You have a group of friends and you kind of know what you want to do with your "life."
Post-college
And then you are dropped off at site again, except this time you don't have any IST/college years to save you when you are freaking out. It's completely you on your own, just like your post-college years. You have to be really self-motivated. You must know your resources. You must be serious about your work and start figuring things out so you can find meaningful, fulfilling work. You start figuring it out and contemplating the projects you're going to do during your service/life.
At this point in my service, I'm the equivalent of 35 years old. I've been here long enough to know the language pretty well, to start to figure out what my life's work will be, but I still feel pretty new. It's been 10 months and I still feel pretty new. There is still so much to explore and to know! I'm just beginning, but I feel kind of old.
The mid-life
Soon, in about two months, I will hit my mid-life crisis.
They say that the time after your one year mark is the lowest of the lows when it comes to the emotional roller coaster and valleys and peaks that exemplifies a Peace Corps volunteer's experience.
At around 50 years old/mid-life/mid-service, you've been around the block. You've got most things figured out and all you can really feel is the clock ticking. One more day gone. One more week gone. One more month gone. Then, it's almost all over. Things don't feel as new anymore and you're just struggling to squeeze it all in before it's too late, before it's all over.
And the last half just flies by.
This place is like a time warp.
Usually, it crawls by. The days lurch on and the months zip by. Next thing you know, you're 35 years old and wondering if you've done everything you could have done, because you're starting to feel old, even though you're really not.
The end of a life
And when we COS (close of service = when our service is ending), you're saying goodbye to everyone you've known for your entire life. All your friends, your family, your everything. You say goodbye, and it's totally bittersweet. Because you can't wait to see what's on the other side, but you know that you're going to miss everything so much. So you go on a huge COS trip, usually to Europe or Asia, and then you go back to America. And as your old life ends, your new life begins.
And it's all cyclical. It changes and flows and moves along. But it's about taking chances, having no regrets, loving every minute and putting your heart into your work. So, that's where I am at.
I can already feel the clock ticking. Sometimes it actually snaps by in my head. Click, Click, Click, Click.
But that is life. My philosophy is to take my chances, put my heart into it, live it up and have no regrets.
Happy 35th birthday to me.
I'll get into the details of my soon-coming mid-life later, but first, I want to do a very short update on Thanksgiving.
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| This is us at about 2 AM, the night before Thanksgiving, helping my friend Chelsea tear 30 loaves of bread into 1 inch pieces for the stuffing. It was fun! |
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| Most of the Peace Corps volunteers in country attended Sikasso Thanksgiving. Here is everyone crowding around, waiting in line to get their Thanksgiving plates. |
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| Thanksgiving dinner! Mashed potatoes with gravy, turkey, stuffing, green beans. It was one of the best meals I've had in this country. |
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| True to Malian fashion, any time the Toubabs gather for something, you usually have a group of Malian kids gathered, prying themselves into the mix, watching with big, curious eyes. There were dozens of kids outside, eating our scraps, taking our plastic silverware. They kept running back and forth to the trash can, sprinting, and taking silverware and food, sprinting back. |
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| As PCVs, we like to work hard and play hard. This is us at the disco dance club on Thanksgiving night. So fun. |
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| The day after Thanksgiving, we cooked a Mexican dinner and sat by the pool at a local hotel all day. Here is a pic of a bunch of the guys playing some pool football. |
The infant years
And when that life starts, from Pre Service Training through the first two months at site, you are in your infant years. You literally can't speak. Everyone is doing things for you, you have no independence, no perspective, you don't know anything. You can't have long conversations, you can't eat, you have no friends yet. You don't know anyone and you're just trying to figure out the basics. How do you adjust to the water? To the new climate? People who are totally new to you? How can you make sense of a way of life you don't understand at all? These are the infant and toddler years.
The school years
And then they drop you off for the first two to three months at site, called integration. Integration is kind of like your first years in school. You are starting to make friends and get to know some people. You are learning to communicate - learning the grammar rules and ways of speaking the language. You are learning what your favorite foods are and where things are situated in your city/town/village. But things are so up and down, you're crying all the time, throwing fits, not knowing how to handle what is going on around you (ahhahhahha, oh, the roller coaster).
The college years
Then you graduate to your college years - or IST. All you want tot do is hang out with friends and go out, because you're finally independent for once. (IST is our In Service Training, after being at site for the first two to three months, and it's two weeks long). You've been studying your entire "life" and now you are finally a on your own, free from the quicksand of dependence on everyone else. All you want to do is be a little crazy, get some studying done, but get it out of your system before you are pushed into the real world. But as soon as IST/college is finished, you are really on your own. You have to go and find a "job" and be a grown up. You've developed philosophies on life there. You have your coping patterns in place. You have a group of friends and you kind of know what you want to do with your "life."
Post-college
And then you are dropped off at site again, except this time you don't have any IST/college years to save you when you are freaking out. It's completely you on your own, just like your post-college years. You have to be really self-motivated. You must know your resources. You must be serious about your work and start figuring things out so you can find meaningful, fulfilling work. You start figuring it out and contemplating the projects you're going to do during your service/life.
At this point in my service, I'm the equivalent of 35 years old. I've been here long enough to know the language pretty well, to start to figure out what my life's work will be, but I still feel pretty new. It's been 10 months and I still feel pretty new. There is still so much to explore and to know! I'm just beginning, but I feel kind of old.
The mid-life
Soon, in about two months, I will hit my mid-life crisis.
They say that the time after your one year mark is the lowest of the lows when it comes to the emotional roller coaster and valleys and peaks that exemplifies a Peace Corps volunteer's experience.
At around 50 years old/mid-life/mid-service, you've been around the block. You've got most things figured out and all you can really feel is the clock ticking. One more day gone. One more week gone. One more month gone. Then, it's almost all over. Things don't feel as new anymore and you're just struggling to squeeze it all in before it's too late, before it's all over.
And the last half just flies by.
This place is like a time warp.
Usually, it crawls by. The days lurch on and the months zip by. Next thing you know, you're 35 years old and wondering if you've done everything you could have done, because you're starting to feel old, even though you're really not.
The end of a life
And when we COS (close of service = when our service is ending), you're saying goodbye to everyone you've known for your entire life. All your friends, your family, your everything. You say goodbye, and it's totally bittersweet. Because you can't wait to see what's on the other side, but you know that you're going to miss everything so much. So you go on a huge COS trip, usually to Europe or Asia, and then you go back to America. And as your old life ends, your new life begins.
And it's all cyclical. It changes and flows and moves along. But it's about taking chances, having no regrets, loving every minute and putting your heart into your work. So, that's where I am at.
I can already feel the clock ticking. Sometimes it actually snaps by in my head. Click, Click, Click, Click.
But that is life. My philosophy is to take my chances, put my heart into it, live it up and have no regrets.
Happy 35th birthday to me.
Well this was very good and chronological, which made it more interesting. You explained your experience there well and definitely how it's aged you. It seems in quarters of the year.That's really fast.
ReplyDeleteI am especially glad to here that you're happy and have no regrets. I do hope you consider this home still. I can't wait to see u again. Looking forward to seeing you again. ..Thanks for sharing.
Love always,
Mom
Hello Laura,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all thanks for the help you were for our two friends from Holland, Jesine and Inge.
This last message is really very good, are you to become a filosofer??
You really could do it I think.
Many greetings,
Jaap